What I'm about to tell you is a true story ~ I am going to change the names to protect the innocent and also try to tell it without all the cuss words that were used.
My son is friends with this guy who has hunting dogs, I believe they are German Shorthairs. I'll refer to him as Mr. Guy. Well, Mr. Guy hires out his services as a guide for hunting partridge aka. ruffed grouse with his dogs. One of his best hunting hounds is Bud (name change to protect his innocence).
Mr. Guy has clients that he needs to pick up at the motel for a morning hunt. He calls to Bud to load up. Now, Mr. Guy and Bud had been out hunting all week with another client and all was well. They would take Mr. Guys truck with the other client because it was just the three of them. But this time there would be an extra person along so Mr. Guy would be driving Mrs. Wife's van (which she only uses on dump day or for flea markets and rummage sales, otherwise she drives her car) ... which was how he did it when he had more than one client.
Mr. Guy is in the house with Bud, talking with him about having to pick up the new clients, making last minute preps for the day, packing a brown bag lunch, etc... and he lets Bud out to go to the bathroom before heading down the road.
Mr. Guy is ready to go. He heads out to the van, gives Bud a call to load up. He opens the van's side door, Bud jumps in. Mr. Guy heads around to the drivers side and gets into the vehicle. Then he gets a whiff of air ~ coming from the back seat. 'Dagnabit-diggity Dog! Bud what did you do? Did you go and roll in something in that little time I let you out of the house until we got into the van? You know we got clients riding with us today.' (he really didn't say dagnabit-diggity dog; but you get my drift)
Mr. Guy then proceeds to take Bud out of the van and takes him over to the garden hose for a quick spray down. He's satisfied that his dog is smelling better. He then runs into the house for something and comes back out to the van and loads Bud up once more. Again, the same scenario happens. He gets in on his side of the van ~ a whiff of foul air assaults him. More cussing at poor Bud. Mr. Guy couldn't believe that Bud would go and roll in something again in that short of time span. Once more, a trip over to the garden hose, a quick wash, and a quick trip to town to pick up his clients.
When the clients get in the van, Mr. Guy is very apologetic ... explaining that he just doesn't know what Bud got into or if he ate something he shouldn't have ... but he stinks.
All day long, whenever Mr. Guy puts Bud in the van he can smell that hound. He doesn't say anything to draw attention to it and just hopes that his clients aren't as offended by it as he is.
When he gets home, he unloads Bud and takes him straight over to the garden hose again and gives him another spray down. He's not coming in the house smelling like he does.
The next morning, again the same scenario. Mr. Guy once again has the same clients that he needs to take out hunting. He lets Bud out of the house a few minutes before he's ready to go so he can do his morning duty .. take his poo :)
Mr. Guy loads up Bud and while doing so is again assaulted with a foul smell. "Cuss word, cuss word, cuss word, something you stinking dog, cuss word, cuss word, you know we have clients waiting on us, cuss words" as he's dragging Bud over to the garden hose. Bud is not happy with Mr. Guy either. He has never growled at his master; but this morning he is about as put off with this whole garden hose spray down as Mr. Guy is. It's only 43 degrees out. Getting sprayed off with cold water is not Bud's idea of a nice bath!
Bud gets loaded into the van again. Mr. Guy can still smell him. What the "cuss words, cuss words," is wrong with you dog. I know you didn't roll in anything this time because I loaded you straight up from the cold water bath. It must be something you ate. Do I need to put you on some new dog food? "Cuss word, cuss word, " oh you stink!!
He picks up the clients, apologies are once again given. Mr. Guy just doesn't know what to do.
Later that afternoon, when he gets home he is telling Mrs. Wife about Bud and how he just reeks. He tells her about the spray downs and how Bud actually growled at him. He's really concerned. Does he need to take Bud to the vet?
Mrs. Wife starts laughing. She said, "You owe Bud a BIG apology! Did you take that bag of dirty diapers to the dump like I asked you last week that are sitting in the back of the van?"
Until next time ...
So it goes in my neck of the woods.
~mel
