night dancers~

Who goes there after dark?  Raising havoc on my lawn?
Is it the fairies?

"The Fairy Dance"

The fairies are dancing — how nimbly they bound!
They flit o'er the grass tops, they touch not the ground;
Their kirtles of green are with diamonds bedight,
All glittering and sparkling beneath the moonlight.

Hark, hark to their music! how silvery and clear —
'Tis surely the flower-bells that ringing I hear, —
The lazy-wing'd moth, with the grasshopper wakes,
And the field-mouse peeps out, and their revels partakes.

How featly they trip it! how happy are they
Who pass all their moments in frolic and play,
Who rove where they list, without sorrows or cares,
And laugh at the fetters mortality wears!

But where have they vanish'd? — a cloud 's o'er the moon,
I'll hie to the spot, — they'll be seen again soon —
I hasten — 'tis lighter, — and what do I view? —
The fairies were grasses, the diamonds were dew.

And thus do the sparkling illusions of youth
Deceive and allure, and we take them for truth;
Too happy are they who the juggle unshroud,
Ere the hint to inspect them be brought by a cloud.

by Carolina Eliza Scott (1777-1853)
Folklore abounds with the tales and stories of the fairies and the fairy ring dancers.  It is said that if you are so fortunate to have a fairy ring in your yard you possess a magical aura that has attracted the fairies to your place.
Phooey on that noise!!! If I have the fairy aura... wash it off of me ... or whatever you gotta do to get rid of it; because I don't want it ~  the dang fairies are raising havoc with my lawn!!  and my nerves!!
It starts with a simple little cluster of mushrooms ~
At first it's just a small ring of them ~
They may even go un-noticed until the grass begins to turn a different shade than the rest of the lawn ~ and then you notice you have a ring of mushrooms... also referred to as a fairy ring.

Within days or a few weeks ... depending on the weather conditions and I suppose how much fairy dancing has been going on ... you get this:

All the grass within the ring begins to die off.  For years... yes... years!!! later you have bald spots on your lawn where grass won't grow.  

Like this ~ 

We have spent a good share of money on antifungal's to kill them off ... home remedies ... such as dish soap solutions, beer (yup... I wasted good beer on those dang fairies), bleach, vinegar and epsom salt solutions to get rid of these mushrooms... yet they still keep coming back!!!  We're frustrated!!!  I've even taken a torch and tried to burn them out ... still they return. 

I did read one solution which was to dig out all the dirt in the area down to a foot deep and a foot beyond the edges of the ring and then put in new top soil.  Well yeah... like that's going to work .. I'm not about to dig up my whole property.  Seriously!  I'm not gonna do it.
Folklore also says that if you try to disturb the fairy ring that bad luck will fall on you for your remaining days on Earth.  Also, if you step inside the fairy ring you can lose your vision ... or worse yet ... your life.  Well guess what fairies ~ my vision already sucks and I've had a good life ... so bring it on!!

... to avoid any hard feelings about me and cruelty to the wee people ...

If someone out there wants my fairies ... come and get them ... because they have lost all their magical, mythical fascination with me.

No more night dancers...
I have to get rid of these fairies...
No more dancing after dark without me...
I'm feeling terrible wicked today for some reason...
Oh that's right; because my lawn is getting over run with mushrooms...
I think I'm going to go and boil up some water and concoct a solution...
While it's boiling I'll soak my  feet in some epsom salts ...
Drink a beer...oops... only half a beer....
Take the boiling water...
My dirty feet soaking water...
My leftover beer...
A jug of vinegar...
Some dish soap...
A splash of bleach...
And mix it all together...
Go pour it all over the mushrooms...
And see what the fairies think about that!
I hope they slip and slide and break their little necks and die.

Until next time...
So it goes in my neck of the woods.


  1. Excuse me for giggling but I can just see you fighting those wee ones. Cute entry. We have mushrooms in the yard sometime but never seen them in a circle like your's.

  2. I have never seen the circle. I will take you word for it.I'd finish the beer and pour the rest of the stuff on the faries. hahahahah.
    What an interesting entry. Never heard such BLARNEY. I can see the back hoe coming now, behind him a dump load of soil. Ontop of the dump the fairies are dancing!!!!!
    TAke care Mel, calm down, relax and just get the shot gun!!!!
    Love ya!
    Sherry & Jack in NC

  3. ROFL...LMAO
    and you were in SUCH a GOOD mood this morning while you colored with Ben...what the heck happened!!! All this ranting and raving....I'm ROFL seeing you out there shaking a stick at those darling little fairies...come on Mel, let them dance one last dance, eat the mushrooms like Pa did and stay out of the center of the ring...sounds like you stepped on a thistle...I think you need a beer. I have lots of rings too and the only thing that grows there is moss or bluebells., or whatever they're spread some seed.
    Dare I add, have a good night?
    Loveya Sis (said very heartfelt and quiet so as not to disturb the fairies).

  4. Well, I chuckled all the way through that! I'm sure it is not nearly as funny for you, however.

    Have you considered a professional lawn service to deal with this?

  5. I think I'm going to start calling you BACKWOODS HATTIE - the witch with a switch! Only you would want to wack a fairy! LOL Maybe if we all do a "fairy-go-away dance" at the wedding in Aug!! Just a suggestion!

  6. Well, I'll be... I never heard of such... Them fairies must be dancing their little wings off to cause so much trouble. lol
    I never knew about those types of mushrooms. I wonder why the grass dies in the middle? It must be dreadfully frustrating for you. I agree with you, I wouldn't enjoy the dirt patches either. I hope you can find some solution that'll save your lawn.

    Although, I think Cher may be on to something with the "fairy-go-away dance" at the wedding in Aug! ;) I can picture it now. lol

    Wishing you an enchanting rest of the week!

  7. I did not know that a mushroom ring is known as a fairy ring as we just don't get enough of them. I liked the poem but would hate to be plagued with 'fairy rings'! Good luck with the new concoction but you sound like you have no faith in it.

  8. LOL! I've been fighting mushrooms everywhere this year- too much rain... Thanks for the laugh!